Days without an end in sight...

Meds. Plain and simple. Meds are a choice you make for you, for your child, for your family. My son is medicated for his ADD. I do not feel bad about this. I do not regret medicating him. I stand firm on my decision to medicate him in order to give him the best possible chance to succeed in life. That being said this particular child isn't able to stay on his meds for very long before his kidneys say, "uh, nah, we don't like that, we are gonna just get rid of it for you". Unfortunately it has meant a LOT of med changes and dosage changes throughout his life. I suppose that's what makes it so hard on me as the mom. For a short while, when the pills are working, the cosmos align and I get a temporary glimpse at my son, the real kid. I see his happiness, his silliness, his focus, and his determination. Then just like that...it's gone again. I think his kidneys are out to get me. They are purposefully stressing me out in order to drive me mad. Or maybe not. Maybe some people are just given a different path through life. What are you gonna do? When life hands you lemons, add some vodka and sit back and enjoy the ride. We are going to have enough moments of anger, sadness, regret, and sorrow...why bother with it over something you can't control. 

~I'm No Supermom~

#wishmeluckondaysliketoday

#thunderstormssoothme

#neveradullmoment

Nothing like watching a girl with questionable self esteem flourish!

Some mornings are hard. Some mornings #3 has a hard time with her looks. She's beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes, and legs for miles. Of course she can't see it, she's 11. 

Most mornings I hear she's not pretty enough, other girls make her feel bad, no one likes her, and a million other negative views of herself. Everyday I tell her she's beautiful. I tell her screw the other girls. I tell her in the grand scheme of things to take my word, these girls are seriously unimportant. 

This morning she came to me and said, "how do I look?" To which I responded, "Beautiful as always". She said, "thank you". I couldn't believe it. She said thank you. To me it means she accepted it, it means she knows she is. I couldn't be happier. Just to hear my one and only girl say thank you to a compliment. 

My day has been brightened! Hope yours has too!

~I'm no Supermom~

#onlygirlwith5brosisrough

#lovemydaughter

#normalisboring

#standupandstandout

Is it all in a days work?

Went to work and left the kids home to fend for themselves. With #1 being 15, you would think they would be ok. 6 missed calls on my cell in the first hour...6 SIX?! What happens when mom sees 6 missed calls...someone is hurt, dead, or dying...well, no. No one was hurt, dead, dying or anything at all. They wanted to tattle. Really?!?!? I told them next time if they aren't hurt, they will be when I get home! 😜

~I'm no super mom~

Blogging for a reason

This mom has decided to blog for a reason. This world we have created seems to be so caught up in trends and fitting in that we tend to forget what to do to be truly happy. My kids have all the same toys as everyone else's kids but they aren't flaunting them for status. They are normal kids. They play outside, they run through the yard until bed time, they play video games, they read books, and they spend time with their family. 

I am in no way the perfect mom, I lose it and snap, I yell at my kids, I have wanted to crawl in my bed and not come out for a week. At the ends of most days my heart desires nothing more than a glass bottle of wine. 

With my oldest being a genius, but also having ADD, my life is filled with letters and emails to teachers and IEP coordinators all day, checking online grades nonstop, making sure all supplies are here and ready at a moments notice for projects, and always making sure that meds are in supply and not needing refills. I know some parents don't think ADD is real or do not think that kids should be medicated but I will stand firm on the fact that mine does. What if you woke up one day and the kid sitting in front of you looked like your child, moved like your child, wore your child's clothes, but the personality that made that kid yours...was gone? My son disappeared slowly, and slowly we have gotten him back. It's a long road when you have ADD and you can only stay on your meds so long before your body rejects them again and again and again. I will always advocate for my son because only his mother and father will know him for who he is. His IEP coordinator has been awesome this year and for that I am extremely grateful, but in years  past we didn't have that luck. 

My second child is "normal" whatever that means. He doesn't have any mental handicaps or disabilities. He is one of those kids who sits when he should, talks only when he feels he has something important to say, and does anything you ask of him. Over the last year I have had to deal with him (and I) losing someone we loved very dearly. Grief is the last thing you want a child to have to go through and now that my oldest seems to be himself again, sometimes I feel I am losing this one to his grief. We are going to try more counseling, but it's very hard to lose someone when you are so young (speaking from experience).

Then there is my daughter. My beautiful, ADHD, crazy big hearted, loving daughter. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for her. She is everything I always wanted to have in a daughter. She is kind, generous, loving (even when her brothers make her irate), and she wants nothing more than world peace and animals to all be treated kindly. My beautiful blond haired, blue eyed girl has ADHD. She is socially stimulated. While this can be a challenge, it could be worse. She doesn't make a lot of friends at school because that is where she is most stimulated and acts goofy. Other kids don't understand it and think she's just weird. To be honest at her age I probably would have thought she was weird too, but that is why as parents we should be teaching understanding and patience. I truly think ADHD may be the best thing that ever happened to her. Before you think I am crazy allow me to explain. My daughter tries harder than anyone in this house to get good grades (she loves hearing praise), when we asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up she asked what she could do to be just like her Dr.. He has made such an impact on her life that she wants to be a pediatrician that also focuses on kids with ADD/ADHD. No matter what she chooses in life, she will always make me proud.

My fourth and fifth sons are 5 and 6 years old and a handful and a half. Being a mom to 5 kids (4 boys especially) is always exhausting but when you add the little ones in... whew, they are always bored, there is never any food they want and they are always hungry, there is nothing to watch, nothing to do, the other kids are playing video games so they can't, it's never ending! 

This being said, being a mom is the only thing I ever wanted to be. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up other than a mom. I love my kids to the moon, stressful days and all. My husband and I don't take vacations without them, we've actually never been on any real "vacation", we rarely spend a single night without our kids in the house. Life is stressful and beautiful and crazy. I am not in the PTA, I am not on the board of anything, I am a stay at home mom that now and again picks up a part time job to help make ends meet, and try to manage her house at the same time. I don't feed my kids anything other than the foods my parents fed me, there is no organic, clean eating, all natural anything in this house. Sometimes we have movie night and we all sit around eating pizza, popcorn, and candy. My kids run the yard till its bedtime in the summer. We have rules, we teach respect, we try to make good kids so that one day they will be great adults. We aren't trying to keep up with the Jones's, but I won't lie, sometime the Jones's have everything I wish we had. I get jealous from time to time, but at the end of everyday I thank God for giving my 5 amazing kids and an amazing husband to lean on everyday. 

I hope my blog doesn't offend anyone, but I won't filter my life for anyone. If you don't like it don't follow me. I can only please so many people a day. 

Thanks for reading~

~I'm no supermom~